Or, "How I knew what I wanted to do, did it, and then still didn't do it (until I did)."
Before I launched my own business in personal and professional development, I was really busy. Here was my to-do list (are you ready?):
Make sure everyone else is happy.
Don't disappoint anyone.
Doesn't seem like a lot, but let me tell you, it took up years of my life.
I worked in the adrenaline-fueled world of the New York City magazine industry for close to 20-years. Burning the midnight oil as we were going to press with one issue or another, I threw myself into marketing design and learned every inch of the business.
Meanwhile, Behind the Scenes...
I was investing in my self-development big time. I took course after course, began coaching others, and was able to bring those skills into my work.
It felt not just good but right. But, I knew deep down that it wasn’t time to focus on that aspect of things professionally…yet. I had other career aspirations that had been planted from a young age. Stepping directly into my grandfather's shoes (unbeknownst to me), I was a marketing designer and I wanted to climb that corporate ladder. And, I did, but I was torn and it felt like I was living two lives.
One was stable, salaried, and the result of choices I had made as far back as elementary school. The other, well...went back almost just as far, with learning to meditate at the age of seven and reading the Celestine Prophecy up in my room in 8th grade. They were both a big part of my identity.
I was split and couldn't see a way to reconcile them.
So I didn't.
I just continued to move forward, eventually reaching my goal of creating and then heading up a Creative Services department. I loved the work of marketing design and my co-workers felt like family. It felt right, but eventually, a creeping sense of almost existential dread descended on me, and I knew that I really should start thinking about my next move. But with so many people were counting on me (that’s what I told myself, at least — now I know better), I delayed and delayed.
More years went by before, finally, the thought came crashing down on me in a particularly tough moment, "If this is not the work I’m ultimately meant to do, what work have I done in the past that I felt completely connected to? “ And, well, the answer was obvious.
And, with that...a six-month exit plan was hatched which ultimately lead to me going freelance, getting my coaching certification, and building my business to what it is today.